I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
