Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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