All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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