I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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