why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
