Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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