We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
