ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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