I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
