I just saw a hot homeless man
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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