He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
