There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
