let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
