He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
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I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.