I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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