we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
