Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i already hear my dad disowning me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
