Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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