you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize