So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
