i don't like sucking hair
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
