Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
