i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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