Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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