pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
