it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
