Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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