I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
