I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize