thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
