She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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