I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
