Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
