stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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