all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
