FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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