Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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