You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
