New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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