He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
