I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
