Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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