I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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