I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
