the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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