that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I think your dad took our porno
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
