So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
