maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
