I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
