My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
