My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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