I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize