meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
