Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
