is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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