so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
