I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I need to stop coming to work sober
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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