She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
