She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
