I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
